08 Jul 2007, ST
By Mathew Pereira
A FRIEND retired recently after serving all these years as a naval officer. He, like all who had served as regulars in the Singapore Armed Forces, collected a lump sum of cash upon leaving.
He was a colonel and had been in the SAF from the time I met him on the rugby pitch during my NS days and again in university.
During our gatherings and football games the past couple of months, at least one of us in the group would ask if he had found a job yet.
'Nope,' he'd say, and add that he had no plans to rush into one.
There would be follow-up comments and questions - Don't you feel bored? How can you not work? Surely the money will not last you another 30 years?
This is one guy who never used to show up for any of our get-togethers in the last 20 years, not even Christmas parties. He would be out at sea, on recall or training in some foreign country.
In fact, at a wedding where he was supposed to be the master of ceremonies once, his unit activated a recall and the groom was left scrambling for a replacement from among the dinner guests.
Those days are gone.
A bachelor, the former rugby player has not only been showing up at every gathering but also for our football sessions.
He is happy to be able to do all these, he said.
But it was his answer to the question about the fear of not having enough to last till old age that impressed me.
'Just live simply. I am happy with what I have,' he said.
He had decided that he would be content with what he had. He did not dismiss the idea of working but he was not about to rush into any job just for the money. If he was going to work, it was going to be something that he enjoyed and, until then, he would live simply.
When three out of every 200 people in Singapore are millionaires as reported recently, retiring at 50 and not wanting to pursue more wealth is not an easy decision to make.
I have heard at least a handful of people say that the next time there is a count, they want to feature in the millionaire end of the statistics.
And I see many examples of it around already.
I had a recent chat with a friend whose condominium went en bloc. He was one of those who tried to squeeze as much money as he could from the deal. He was already getting a hefty amount but that wasn't enough.
He said: 'Wouldn't you do it? Wouldn't you push for more money?'
I said: 'Of course, more is good but at what point do you stop?' His hard bargaining almost scuppered the whole deal.
But he was not an aberration.
I chatted with another close friend, one I've known for over 20 years and whom I believed had many things in common with. Even he said: 'Matt, I must be honest. I can't say I would not have done the same thing.'
I am not at all anti-wealth but I have often been reminded that one of the secrets to happiness in life is contentment.
These reminders come from friends whom I feel have the right perspective. A friend dropped in at my home three days ago, on his way to work, just for a chat. Our talk moved on to work, house, friends.
He told me that he was enjoying working in his company, that he had made a name for himself in the industry he was in and could walk out any day and get a 50 per cent jump in his salary. But he decided that he would stay where he is because he enjoys the work and the environment.
He has a decent home which he bought many years ago and could upgrade to a bigger one with what he earns but has decided against it. He is going to stay put. That is contentment.
I have seen some who epitomise discontentment. They are constantly unhappy. One can be discontented with anything - from your job to your house and your car to your spouse.
Sticking around with people who are contented helps.
One such is this middle-class couple who have two boys. They made a conscious decision not to upgrade but stay in their five-room HDB executive maisonette flat in Woodlands. Their two boys attend neighbourhood schools and many of their friends come from lower-income groups.
The mother told me about how, when the boy's classmates visit their home, they would exclaim: 'Wah, you so rich' or 'Wah, your house is so big' and 'Wah, your father has a car!'
Her 11-year-old became very conscious and there were times he decided not to take his new adidas bag or other branded goods to school for fear of reinforcing this idea that he came from a rich family.
But the boy was rattled for a while when he started taking tuition lessons at an expensive tuition centre recently. All the kids there came from wealthy families and after a few sessions he remarked: 'I don't have the latest phone', 'I don't have the latest PlayStation', and 'Why do we have such a small car?'
Overnight, his perspective changed.
It took some talking from the parents to undo the damage and make him see things correctly.
Quite often we hear people dismissing a person in a condescending manner with: 'Oh, he is easily contented.'
That 'easily contented guy' may be on to something, which many of us have yet to find out about.
By Mathew Pereira
A FRIEND retired recently after serving all these years as a naval officer. He, like all who had served as regulars in the Singapore Armed Forces, collected a lump sum of cash upon leaving.
He was a colonel and had been in the SAF from the time I met him on the rugby pitch during my NS days and again in university.
During our gatherings and football games the past couple of months, at least one of us in the group would ask if he had found a job yet.
'Nope,' he'd say, and add that he had no plans to rush into one.
There would be follow-up comments and questions - Don't you feel bored? How can you not work? Surely the money will not last you another 30 years?
This is one guy who never used to show up for any of our get-togethers in the last 20 years, not even Christmas parties. He would be out at sea, on recall or training in some foreign country.
In fact, at a wedding where he was supposed to be the master of ceremonies once, his unit activated a recall and the groom was left scrambling for a replacement from among the dinner guests.
Those days are gone.
A bachelor, the former rugby player has not only been showing up at every gathering but also for our football sessions.
He is happy to be able to do all these, he said.
But it was his answer to the question about the fear of not having enough to last till old age that impressed me.
'Just live simply. I am happy with what I have,' he said.
He had decided that he would be content with what he had. He did not dismiss the idea of working but he was not about to rush into any job just for the money. If he was going to work, it was going to be something that he enjoyed and, until then, he would live simply.
When three out of every 200 people in Singapore are millionaires as reported recently, retiring at 50 and not wanting to pursue more wealth is not an easy decision to make.
I have heard at least a handful of people say that the next time there is a count, they want to feature in the millionaire end of the statistics.
And I see many examples of it around already.
I had a recent chat with a friend whose condominium went en bloc. He was one of those who tried to squeeze as much money as he could from the deal. He was already getting a hefty amount but that wasn't enough.
He said: 'Wouldn't you do it? Wouldn't you push for more money?'
I said: 'Of course, more is good but at what point do you stop?' His hard bargaining almost scuppered the whole deal.
But he was not an aberration.
I chatted with another close friend, one I've known for over 20 years and whom I believed had many things in common with. Even he said: 'Matt, I must be honest. I can't say I would not have done the same thing.'
I am not at all anti-wealth but I have often been reminded that one of the secrets to happiness in life is contentment.
These reminders come from friends whom I feel have the right perspective. A friend dropped in at my home three days ago, on his way to work, just for a chat. Our talk moved on to work, house, friends.
He told me that he was enjoying working in his company, that he had made a name for himself in the industry he was in and could walk out any day and get a 50 per cent jump in his salary. But he decided that he would stay where he is because he enjoys the work and the environment.
He has a decent home which he bought many years ago and could upgrade to a bigger one with what he earns but has decided against it. He is going to stay put. That is contentment.
I have seen some who epitomise discontentment. They are constantly unhappy. One can be discontented with anything - from your job to your house and your car to your spouse.
Sticking around with people who are contented helps.
One such is this middle-class couple who have two boys. They made a conscious decision not to upgrade but stay in their five-room HDB executive maisonette flat in Woodlands. Their two boys attend neighbourhood schools and many of their friends come from lower-income groups.
The mother told me about how, when the boy's classmates visit their home, they would exclaim: 'Wah, you so rich' or 'Wah, your house is so big' and 'Wah, your father has a car!'
Her 11-year-old became very conscious and there were times he decided not to take his new adidas bag or other branded goods to school for fear of reinforcing this idea that he came from a rich family.
But the boy was rattled for a while when he started taking tuition lessons at an expensive tuition centre recently. All the kids there came from wealthy families and after a few sessions he remarked: 'I don't have the latest phone', 'I don't have the latest PlayStation', and 'Why do we have such a small car?'
Overnight, his perspective changed.
It took some talking from the parents to undo the damage and make him see things correctly.
Quite often we hear people dismissing a person in a condescending manner with: 'Oh, he is easily contented.'
That 'easily contented guy' may be on to something, which many of us have yet to find out about.
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