Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Aids and a friend

This morning, SO called me to inform me that a friend, AM suspected that he may have Aids. It seemed that AM's partner came out to him that he has been visiting bathhouses for a year and that he suspected that he may have contacted Aids and maybe even passed the virus to AM.

AM had sent a sms to SO earlier this morning......
I am very depressed...K came out to me that he has been visiting bathhouses for the nearly past 1 year....N he suspected he got Aids.....wat should i do...I had insomnia for the past 2 nites...


Gosh.....I am not exactly close to AM or K. They are both friends of SO. Friends for over 10 years?

In fact, I have spoken to AM probably twice at the most cos we dun have much to talk about. As for K, I think I have seen him a few times but never spoken directly to him.

What I remembered about K was he was a short, average looking boyish fella. He should be 30? and yet he looked just like a small size teenager....

SO said he would probably come back late as they needed to talk to him. They were simply bursting with sorrows and did not know who to speak to.

Meanwhile, after chatting with SO, i surfed the net for some information on Aids testing. I did know there is a anonymous testing center in Kelantan Lane. So i checked out the testing schedules and the Aids hotline and sms the info back to SO.

http://www.afa.org.sg/anonymous.asp

I did informed SO to tell them to stop speculating and just take the anonymous Aids test this very day. No point just wondering if K had contacted Aids. Better to know for sure, then they could make plans.

So SO took some early time off, and went to speak with AM and K.

It turned out the couple had been wandering the streets all day since yesterday, feeling depressed about their situation and not knowing what to do.

K had visited saunas and bathhouses twice a week on his off days for more than a year now. And each time he engaged in casual sex with strangers. As for whether he did used protection, he did claimed he did so.

Sigh....twice a week...that means 52 x 2 = 104 trips....and say each trip about 1-2 casual partners..... that means he has about 100-200 partners or so since then?

Sigh...and he said he did not know who gave him the virus.

Is the very few joyful moments of ecstasy and orgasm worth years of sickness and suffering? I suppose not. But then when one is writhing in the throes of lust and passion, getting an incurable disease is the last thing on the mind.

Well, the test results came out 20 mins after their visit to the clinic. AM was negative but K was tested positive for HIV. There were no tears. But this could be just a window phase period for AM. He could still have Aids, it's just that the HIV antibodies are not detected in his blood now. He need to come back for another testing 3 months later to confirm his HIV status.

K had suspected he had Aids for some time now and he even got an instant Aids test from those vending machine that is outside the bathhouses. It came out positive then. So more or less, he is resigned to the fact.

The clinic was crowded.....and the counsellors did not have time to counsel K immediately after his test, so they asked him to call back after 8pm when there are less patients. Then they would advise K on the next course of action.

This Aids news is a very loud personal awakening call to me. I have no friends who had Aids, so the virus itself is a very far fetched concept to me. Like I know the moon is there, I see the moon but i cannot touch the moon or visit the moon....type of concept.

What would K do with his life on from now? He is 29, works in the service industry where he needs to have some form of physical contact with customers and he needs to undergo an Aids test once or twice a year to get his working licence.

Would he tell his parents? Would they reject him and chase him out of his home? Or would they open their hearts to him?

What about medicine? The counsellors told him he probably should get his medicine from Thailand cos medicine here are costly.

Having Aids is like having a deadline looming over his head. Medication is able to prolong life...but for how long? There has been cases of people surviving 10-20 years after contacting HIV. But not every one survive that long.

Besides K probably has a high sex drive to visit bathhouses twice a week. What is he going to do for sex now? I suppose he could control his sexual urges for now, (who has the mood or urge after finding out he has a life threatening disease?).....but what about a few months/years down the road when he has become more accepting to his illness? Will he go down to saunas and bathhouses to "spread" the virus to unsuspecting "victims"?

Some people would. Cos they are angry that they got the virus from someone who may know they have the HIV virus and yet still deliberately engaged in casual sex. Will K also do likewise and "avenge" himself for the unjust act done unto him?

Who should he blame? Himself for visiting bathhouses so often? Or the guy who may know he has Aids and yet engaged in casual sex with him?

Frankly, i dun know. SO left after the results, leaving them wandering the streets in despair. They wanted to be alone, together, their future unknown. SO had done all he could for them.

Sigh....what i know is they probably can't sleep tonight or the next few nights, wondering what life and HIV have in store for their future.


No comments: